The internet is for porn
KATE
The internet is really, really great,
TREKKIE MONSTER
For porn!
KATE
I've got a fast connection so I don't have to wait.
TREKKIE
For porn!
KATE
Huh?
There's always some new site,
TREKKIE
For porn!
KATE
I browse all day and night,
TREKKIE
For porn!
KATE
It's like I'm surfing at the speed of light
TREKKIE
For porn!
KATE
Trekkie!
TREKKIE
The internet is for porn,
KATE
Trekkie!
TREKKIE
The internet is for porn,
KATE
What are you doing!?
TREKKIE
Why you think the net was born?
Porn, porn, porn!
KATE
Trekkie.
TREKKIE
Oh hello, Kate monster!
KATE
You are ruining my song!
TREKKIE
Oh me sorry, me no mean to.
KATE
Well, if you wouldn't mind please being quiet for a minute so I can finish?
TREKKIE
Okey dokey.
KATE
Good.
I'm glad we have this new technology,
TREKKIE
For porn! Oh.
KATE
Which gives us untold opportunity,
TREKKIE
For por- oops, sorry...
KATE
Right from you own desktop
TREKKIE
For ---
KATE
You can research, browse and shop
Until you've had enough and you're ready to stop
TREKKIE
FOR PORN!
KATE
Trekkie!
TREKKIE
The internet is for porn!
KATE
Uh!
TREKKIE
The internet is for porn!
KATE
Trekkie!
TREKKIE
Me up all night honking me horn to porn, porn, porn!
KATE
That's gross, you're a pervert!
TREKKIE
Ah, sticks and stones, Kate monster.
KATE
No really, you're a pervert. Normal people don't sit at home and look at porn
on the internet.
TREKKIE
Ooooh?
KATE
What?
TREKKIE
You. Have. No. Idea.
Ready, normal people?
NORMAL PEOPLE
Ready.
Ready.
Ready.
TREKKIE
Let me hear it!
TREKKIE AND GUYS
The internet is for porn!
PRINCETON
Sorry, Kate.
TREKKIE AND GUYS
The internet is for porn!
PRINCETON
I masturbate!
TREKKIE
All these guys unzip their flies for
TREKKIE AND GUYS
Porn, porn, porn!
KATE
The internet is not for porn!
TREKKIE AND GUYS
PORN! PORN! P---
KATE
HOLD ON A SECOND!
TREKKIE
Wha'?
KATE
Now I know for a fact that you, Rob, check your portfolio and trade stocks
online.
ROB
That's correct.
KATE
And Brian, you buy things on amazon.com.
BRIAN
Sure!
KATE
And Gary, you keep selling your possessions on Ebay.
GARY
Yes I do!
KATE
And Princeton, you sent me that sweet online birthday card.
PRINCETON
True!
TREKKIE
Oh, but Kate -
What you think he do . . . after? Hmm?
PRINCETON
Yeah...
KATE
EEEWWWWW!
TREKKIE AND GUYS
The internet is for porn!
KATE
Gross!
TREKKIE AND GUYS
The internet is for porn!
KATE
I hate porn!
TREKKIE AND GUYS
Grab your dick and double click
TREKKIE AND GUYS
For porn, porn, porn!
KATE
I hate you men!
TREKKIE AND GUYS
(Harmonizing) Porn, porn, porn, porn
KATE
I'm leaving!
TREKKIE AND GUYS
Porn, porn, porn, porn
KATE
I hate the internet!
TREKKIE
The internet is for
TREKKIE AND SOME
Internet is for
TREKKIE AND ALL
Internet is for PORN!
TREKKIE
YEAH!